A packed commuter train at East Croydon on the 7:52 to London Victoria.

The train is about to leave the station.

Some tourist with the world’s biggest back-pack forces himself onto the train just as the doors are closing. There’s no room but he somehow manages to leverage himself into the carriage. And his bag.

We all shuffle up and the train slowly starts off.

Two minutes later - as we pass Selhurst - the tourist starts to look agitated.

“Gatwick! Does this train go to Gatwick?”

For a while no-one answers.

“No, it’s going to London Victoria,” says a kind soul.

The tourist looks mortified. Visions of missed planes flash in front of his eyes.

“But I have to go to Gatwick!”

There is an embarrassed silence as everyone looks the other way. Then a voice pipes up from somewhere down the carriage.

“Well you’re going to London now, mate!”

Pause. General laughter.