Tell us something about Tim Robson.
Tim is six foot, attractive, loads of hair. Girls tend to be drawn to his looks but then back off when they realise he has no depth. He’s lost many girlfriends to this short, bald guy who follows him around cracking intellectual jokes.

When and why did you start writing stories?
The 70’s. To get girls.

How would you describe your writing style?
Better than it was last year. Not as good as next year.

Where do you get your ideas and inspiration from?
Overachievement.

What is your favourite time for writing?
When the bar is open. Your round?

Where is your favourite location for writing and why?
See the answer above. I live it, man.

What other writing do you do – non-fiction, poetry, etc?
Abusive comments on the Guardian’s Comment is Free website.

What is your earliest memory of writing a story?
Seven

Are you someone who plans their writing in detail or do you just launch into an idea and see where it goes?
Preplanners should be rounded up and placed against a wall. And have their fucking research thrown at them. Write with total freedom. But edit like a Nazi.

People say you should only write about what you know. What is your view on this?
Right wing.

Writing can be a lonely occupation or hobby. What is your advice for coping with this?
Masturbation.

It’s said that in the future everyone will be published but no one will be read. What is your view on this statement?
I would like to introduce whoever said it to my good friend, Mr Baseball Bat.

How do you cope when your writing is ignored or rejected?
I blog. My stuff tends to be accepted.

Do you ever experience writer’s block? How do you overcome this?
Life is far too interesting for there to be a white page in your mind. Walk, look, observe. Sit in a bar and listen. Walk the streets. Look at each thing and ask wherein lies its story, its value. It’s purpose.

What do your friends and family think of your writing?
Little.

Who is your favourite author and what is it that really strikes you about their writing?
Balzac, Hardy, 80’s Amis, Iain Banks, On The Road, French Lieutenant’s woman. Hank Moodie. Anything by Tim Robson.

What has been your proudest moment so far with your writing?

The first cheque. 1994. £500 quid. Paid my council tax FFS.

What do you hope to achieve in the future with your writing?
World domination. Money. Multiple attractive sexual partners in various combinations. The Freedom of the City of Rochdale.

If you had to give one piece of advice to a novice writer, what would it be?
F*** Off.