REPOST: The Worst Beatles Tracks

(This was originally posted August 2015)

A pretty routine observation I make is that, unlike most artists, you can take any Beatles album and find an abundance of classic songs not released as a single. The sort of songs lesser artists would kill to have. Such was the embarrassment of riches within the Beatles, songs would just stack up and be used as album fodder. Which is why listening to any Beatles album is also such a joy. It’s never a couple of hits bulked out with fillers. With very few exceptions, all of the Beatles output is a consistently high standard, even when they were innovating.

So I thought, I'd compile a list of The Beatles' stinkers. There aren't many. One per album.

The Worst Beatles Tracks

Abbey Road – Maxwell’s Silver Hammer. Sorry Paul, it’s drivel.

*Beatles For Sale – Honey Don't. The Ringo badge of quality is added to this borefest. Carl Perkins also managed to write the second worst song too - Everybody's Trying to Be My Baby.

Hard Day’s Night – I’m Happy Just to Dance With You.  Paul and John did George no favours here by writing this dirge for him. Bizarrely, I covered this in my infamous Great Eastern solo gig in 1992. Knickers were not thrown.

Help! – You Like Me Too Much. Not a classic. George also wrote I Need You on the same album. Also crap.

Let It Be – For You Blue. George donated this derivative toss off to the Get Back project to protect better songs – Something, Here Comes The Sun – from a substandard album. Wise move.

Magical Mystery Tour – Yes, I know not a proper album. Flying, obviously. The Beatles do lounge music for the MMT film. Aural wallpaper.

Please Please Me – Boys. A Ringo filler. Pair an average singer with an average song and you get a sub average track. Probably worked better live at The Cavern. Or at weddings.

Revolver – Love You To. George and Indian music. Mordant vocals and cod philosophical lyrics to a raga beat. Same album as his fiery and brilliant Taxman.

Rubber Soul – What Goes On. Ringo got a writing credit for this Country and Western song. He should have held out and asked for the rights to Paperback Writer instead.

Sgt Pepper – Within In Without You. Yeah. I don’t really like George’s Indian influenced songs. This one goes on for over five minutes. It feels like it.

White Album – Revolution 9. Of course. John and Yoko's avant garde crap. Unlistenable.

With The Beatles. No weak tracks. Not one.

Yellow Submarine – Only A Northern Song. Sorry George, you again. Trying too hard to be different it just comes across as gauche and dissonant.

[Looking through the list now, it appears I’m overly critical of some of George Harrison’s contributions. Of all the Beatles, it was fair to say he got better as he got older. His voice, monosyllabic and nasal in 1963, matured by 1969 into a fine instrument. His song writing talents, sometimes okay, sometimes poor, had developed so much that by 1969 that he was able to go toe to toe with John and Paul. And win.]

Dirty work but someone's got to do it. Best album tracks next to cheer me up.

Cheers

Tim

*Beatles For Sale - Most critics say 'Mr Moonlight' is not only the worst song on the album but in the Beatles entire recording career. A bit harsh, I think. It's not a classic admittedly and the cheesy organ that George Martin adds doesn't help, and yet, and yet, I'm a fan of John Lennon's shouty voice going for big notes (Anna, Baby It's You, Happiness is a Warm Gun). Ironically Lennon's vocals were best demonstrated on the track they left off Beatles For Sale 'Leave My Kitten Alone' - now available on Anthology 1.

Terry Meets Julie

Britain is great for many reasons: Parliamentary democracy, inventor of team sports, abolition of slavery, religious tolerance, war-like but fair-minded; these are sterling attributes. But that is not the subject of today's ramble through the back waters of my memory - no, today we're gonna talk about Britain and pop / rock music.

Any small land that produced - off the top of my head, it's not hard - The Beatles, The Stones, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Elton John, Eric Clapton, Rod Stewart, The Sex Pistols, Duran Duran, Wham, The Smiths, The Stone Roses, Oasis, Coldplay can't be all bad (aside - are we shit now? Take That were all right but One Direction?)...

No other country except the USA - infinitely larger - can go toe-to-toe with us. (I haven't even mentioned my own musical career.) That's the embarrassment of riches we have here.

England : Stones, Beatles, Led Zep, Oasis, The Smiths, Lisa Stansfield (Rochdale reference)

Wales: Tom Jones, Stereophonics, Manic Street Preachers 

Scotland: Teenage Fanclub, Del Amitri, The Lost Soul Band, Rod Stewart (by his own definition)

Northern Ireland: Van Morrison, The Undertones

All right. England and Scotland punch above their weight. Wales and Northern Ireland less so. I might return to this. Certainly an article on Jock Rock is overdue and why 'You Can't Win Them All Mum' is just about the best song you've never heard of ever...

But here are some great Brexit songs from lesser known bands, that sum up the UK for me:-

Sham 69 - If The Kids Are United

Any group who have a chorus, ‘We’re going down the pub!’ is both bold and just right. Sham 69 were, for about five minutes in the late 70’s, famous for their very English, very football terraces sing-a-long tunes. Hersham Boys, Hurry up Harry, and If The Kids are United. These may not be great art – I don’t think Jimmy Pursey ever intended them to be – but they do go for the balls like all the best songs. They represent an English white working class culture that is often ignored, often derided but still exists if you look for it. These guys manned the squares at Assaye and Waterloo, fought in the trenches and battled fascism saving Europe (not the EU) with their spirit, banter and patriotism.

The Kinks - Waterloo Sunset

Before Ray Davies tumbled up his own arse in the 70’s, he was a damn fine song-writer. Addressing English type subjects in See My Friends, Days, Dedicated Follower of Fashion, The Kinks were a very English band (once they’d got over playing souped up versions of Louie Louie). Stuff like The Village Green Preservation Society I can take or leave, but a song like Victoria will always be greeted with a smile. There’s a great line in it: “Land of Hope and Gloria, Land of my Victoria.” Doesn’t get much better than that! But for pop genius, observational subtlety, the summation of ordinary life, this story of young lovers meeting after work in London has to be top. Yes, Waterloo Sunset is that strange thing, a perfect pop song. From the distinctive guitar lick, to the plaintive but catchy melody to the ordinary but so special lyrics “Terry meets Julie every Friday at five o’clock.” A moment of sunshine on a cloudy day.

The La's - There She Goes

The gods offered Achilles the choice of a short and marvellous life or a long and boring one. Some shit like that anyway. He chose, of course, short and famous. Some rock god must have come down to Lee Mavers in Liverpool the 80’s and, after paying a quid to mind his car, offered young Lee the same bargain; one hit wonder or a long career of mediocrity. Luckily for us Lee chose, one hit wonder. The La’s There She Goes is a wonderful thing; the chiming Byrds like guitar@, the infectious tune, the ambiguous lyrics. This Scouse pop rings out - even thirty years later - as fresh as a 17-year boy pissed on cider in a room full of scantily clad girls. I love by the way, the setting of this song in the 90’s remake of the film Parent Trap as the American Lynsey Lohan is driven around the sights of London in a Rolls Royce. Clichéd perhaps but countries are defined in broad brush strokes, not detail. This song, complete with Lee Mavers, should have been played at 2012 Olympics.

---

Why is it that Britain is so good at this stuff? Why is it - after years of French bitching - not only does everyone at the Eurovision sing in English but the presenters now don't even bother with their home language anymore (let alone French). Possibly it's down to the (historically disputed) vote in the US after independence to vote  for English as the official language and not German. Whatever; the talent of Beatles to write catchy songs, the Stones to write brilliant riffs and Led Zep to turn poor black blues into heavy rock gold - would have won out anyway.

We should celebrate our artists more. And we don't need the fucking EU to - as Pete says - 'Pick up our guitar and play, just like yesterday, and get on our knees and pray, WE DON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN.' (yes, spurious 1975 reference alert).

Vote leave. 

Tim

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The Best Beatles Album Tracks

The Best Beatle Album Tracks

A companion bookend to my August 25th piece on the worse Beatles album tracks. A much harder prospect than the previous article, sifting the best will be difficult but – hey! – that’s why I get paid the big bucks. Only rule is that (UK) singles are not permissible, other than that, let’s get down to it!

Please Please Me – There’s a Place

Already I’m in trouble. Some of my very favourite Beatles tracks are on this one album. The winner could have been Baby It’s You, I Saw Her Standing There, Twist and Shout or Anna (Go to him)… But on reflection, I’ll go with this introspective Lennon song. Used to play it with my group in the mid-90’s. No one cared (though the photo above is me playing the song in London).

With The Beatles – You Really Got a Hold On Me

The Beatles go Smokey Robinson. Supercharges the original, great arrangement, powerful vocals by Lennon. Edges out Money and Devil In Her Heart.

Hard Day’s Night – I’ll Be Back

Had the most trouble with this album. There’s five John songs on the album that I could have picked. He was undisputed leader of the group in all senses at this period in time. I’ll Be Back is an understated, but more powerful for it, acoustic ballad that showcases John’s early song writing.

Beatles for Sale – Baby’s In Black

Baby’s in Black is part of the strongest trio of songs ever to start off an album (No Reply and I’m a Loser being the other two). Only the Beatles could have written and performed this crazy, swinging, blues, country song. Weird but oh so right. Brilliant guitar solo from George.

Help! – You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away

Lennon does Dylan. The result is pure Beatles, pure John. Acoustic, hypnotic, great tune, ambiguous lyrics and, yes I keep saying it, great Lennon vocals. Number one busker’s song.

Rubber Soul – Norwegian Wood

Acoustic guitars, sitar, understated, epic. A classic from a classic album. Nuff said.

 Revolver – She Said She Said

“She said, I know what it’s like to be dead” lyrically is a million miles away from the boy meets girl constructs of previous Beatle songs. Great stinging lead guitar from George (who also played bass as Paul threw a wobbly and walked out of the session).

Sgt Pepper – Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds

I not a big subscriber to the view this is the Beatles best album. It seems to me the production overshadows the actual songs. Lucy in The Sky with Diamonds contains some of Lennon’s best images and has a cracking chorus to boot. From its haunting keyboard opening, Paul’s intelligent bass, this is the standout track.

The Beatles (White Album) – Back in The USSR

An erratic album but with some absolute gems. This McCartney rocker kicks off the album. It’s wild, badly mixed, recorded without Ringo, but it takes on the Beach Boys at their own game and gives them a beating!

Magical Mystery Tour – I Am The Walrus

Lennon snarls his way through four and a half minutes of invective, which provided the whole basis for Liam Gallagher’s career. A song only Lennon could have written. The production is amazing but what holds it together, as usual, is John’s vocal.

Abbey Road – Here Comes The Sun

Harrison’s unstoppable juggernaut takes over the Beatles and flattens Lennon and McCartney. George writes the album’s two best songs. Something could equally have been in this position but as it was the single I’ll go for Here Comes The Sun. Anyone who grew up in the 70’s would be familiar with the guitar figure as it used to the theme tune of the Holiday programme. Beautiful song.

Let It Be – I’ve Got A Feeling

The Beatles as garage band. Live and unadorned, the Beatles rock out. Appropriate that this is a Paul/John combination song showing how great they could be together (check out the version on Anthology 3 to see how John could inspire Paul). Hypnotic riff, powerful harmonies, the song gets better with age.

Who knows? I'll probably change my mind on all of these tomorrow. Or later today. That's the beauty of it, I guess.

Cheers

Tim

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The Worst Beatles Tracks

A pretty routine observation I make is that, unlike most artists, you can take any Beatles album and find an abundance of classic songs not released as a single. The sort of songs lesser artists would kill to have. Such was the embarrassment of riches within the Beatles, songs would just stack up and be used as album fodder. Which is why listening to any Beatles album is also such a joy. It’s never a couple of hits bulked out with fillers. With very few exceptions, all of the Beatles output is a consistently high standard, even when they were innovating.

So I thought, I'd compile a list of The Beatles' stinkers. There aren't many. One per album.

The Worst Beatles Tracks

Abbey Road – Maxwell’s Silver Hammer. Sorry Paul, it’s drivel.

*Beatles For Sale – Honey Don't. The Ringo badge of quality is added to this borefest. Carl Perkins also managed to write the second worst song too - Everybody's Trying to Be My Baby.

Hard Day’s Night – I’m Happy Just to Dance With You.  Paul and John did George no favours here by writing this dirge for him. Bizarrely, I covered this in my infamous Great Eastern solo gig in 1992. Knickers were not thrown.

Help! – You Like Me Too Much. Not a classic. George also wrote I Need You on the same album. Also crap.

Let It Be – For You Blue. George donated this derivative toss off to the Get Back project to protect better songs – Something, Here Comes The Sun – from a substandard album. Wise move.

Magical Mystery Tour – Yes, I know not a proper album. Flying, obviously. The Beatles do lounge music for the MMT film. Aural wallpaper.

Please Please Me – Boys. A Ringo filler. Pair an average singer with an average song and you get a sub average track. Probably worked better live at The Cavern. Or at weddings.

Revolver – Love You To. George and Indian music. Mordant vocals and cod philosophical lyrics to a raga beat. Same album as his fiery and brilliant Taxman.

Rubber Soul – What Goes On. Ringo got a writing credit for this Country and Western song. He should have held out and asked for the rights to Paperback Writer instead.

Sgt Pepper – Within In Without You. Yeah. I don’t really like George’s Indian influenced songs. This one goes on for over five minutes. It feels like it.

White Album – Revolution 9. Of course. John and Yoko's avant garde crap. Unlistenable.

With The Beatles. No weak tracks. Not one.

Yellow Submarine – Only A Northern Song. Sorry George, you again. Trying too hard to be different it just comes across as gauche and dissonant.

[Looking through the list now, it appears I’m overly critical of some of George Harrison’s contributions. Of all the Beatles, it was fair to say he got better as he got older. His voice, monosyllabic and nasal in 1963, matured by 1969 into a fine instrument. His song writing talents, sometimes okay, sometimes poor, had developed so much that by 1969 that he was able to go toe to toe with John and Paul. And win.]

Dirty work but someone's got to do it. Best album tracks next to cheer me up.

Cheers

Tim

*Beatles For Sale - Most critics say 'Mr Moonlight' is not only the worst song on the album but in the Beatles entire recording career. A bit harsh, I think. It's not a classic admittedly and the cheesy organ that George Martin adds doesn't help, and yet, and yet, I'm a fan of John Lennon's shouty voice going for big notes (Anna, Baby It's You, Happiness is a Warm Gun). Ironically Lennon's vocals were best demonstrated on the track they left off Beatles For Sale 'Leave My Kitten Alone' - now available on Anthology 1.