Top Ten Madonna Songs
Into the Groove. Could it top the charts?
We met. Did I tell you that?
Did I ever tell you I met Madonna once? It was in Cipriani’s in Park Lane. Prince Andrew (Booo!), Sarah Ferguson and their kids were also dining there that night. As was I. Anyway, she and I met, but briefly. You can read my account about meeting Madonna in this very blog. For her side of the story, you’d need to ask her. Recollections may possibly vary but - for myself - I’ve said all I’m going to say about the incident. Unless asked. Or pissed.
Love her or loathe her, she’s certainly had a long career. From her bouncy lightweight pop in the early 80’s to her move toward more convention-defying music of the early 90’s through to producer-led techno of the mid 90’s onwards thru to soundtracks, she’s produced a decent catalogue of songs.
Now, dear reader, I know I’m famous for my reviews of classic rock (really Tim?) but a decent pop song will always get me going. Songs date you, they place you in a certain time and certain place. I span all Madonna’s career. As she was breaking through I was just starting to go to clubs (discos in those days, kids). We’ve kind of had a parallel existence; her dominating the pop world and me, well, yeah.
The Top Ten
So, I thought I’d do my top ten Madonna tracks in homage to her, our brief time together, some memories of a bygone era and because her stuff always creeps onto my playlists when I’m off for a long drive. Don’t expect a deep dive here; they’re not really that kind of songs. We’re talking a feeling, a hook, a look, a place and a time. We only met once, but, through her music, we coalesced multiple times.
Scanning through the candidates for the top ten you’ll notice there’s eleven on the list. Why? Well, who said I can’t subvert the listette convention? No rules, man. But I genuinely found it hard to slim the list down to ten, so I chickened out on which songs to leave out. So, eleven it is. The other unsuccessful songs from my long list appear below. You think this stuff is easy?
In reverse order:
10 - Music
“Hey Mr DJ, put a record on!” A firm number 10 on the list. A solid dance floor hit. Electronically treated with an earworm high pitched guitar punctuating each phrase. It could be dismissed as Madonna enslaved to production but she’s too good to be pigeon holed for that. It’s got a chorus, it’s got a groove, it’s talks about dancing. Must be Madonna. Video’s not bad either. Aiyee!
9 - Vogue
“Strike the pose” Madonna self styling herself as a serious artist, an artist of the dance floor. Am I alone in picking up a little bit of ‘Going to a Go-Go’? No? Just me then. Love the stepped housey piano on the chorus - whatever happened to that keyboard sound? And then Madonna starts riffing about famous movie stars, they’re all a bit obvious - Dean, Monroe, Harlow, Fred and Ginger - but I’m sure they appreciated the call out. It fits with the song though “vogue, vogue, vogue.”
8 - Sorry
The latest track on the list. To be honest, I missed this when it came out being otherwise distracted by, well, life so I came across it relatively late. Je suis désolé. I was blown away that Madge had pulled out a classic at this late stage in her career. It’s driving, well produced and stands up against her earlier stuff. If she mimed to this at a concert I’d happily do that Tim sway thing along with the earlier classics.
7 - Deeper and Deeper
I bought this single. A cassette single, if I remember. (Ask your parents if you don’t know what this is.) A decent dance groove, one of those tracks where Madge babbles about music setting you free. I’m down with that. Frankly, I’m amazed it’s not higher on the list as I probably play this more often than some higher on the list. My ways are inscrutable. Depends when I’m writing this and what I’m drinking. Deep. And deeper, Tim.
6 - Ray of Light
A comeback of sorts. We were all into Britpop, Oasis and lad bands in the mid 90’s. And then Madonna puts out her 1998 album of the same name which was a massive return to form. The lead single, Frozen, was a turgid misstep but Ray of Light is a shining pop tune for the ages. “And I feel!” she sings as she ramps up the temperature propelling this track into a floor filling classic. She means it, man. I still hit the clubs back in those days and I know I spilt lager on the dance floor to this one.
5- Drowned World / Substitute for Love
Same album. A deep cut. A couple of tunes melded together, stitched artfully by a beautiful synth guitar part in the middle. Like grunge rock - this is the quiet bit, this is the loud bit. With Madonna, it starts slow and then gets all noisy as the track progresses. This isn’t lightweight pop anymore. This is the older Madonna holding the mic and telling her truth (with a shit load of production helping her). “I now I find, I’ve changed my mind” she sings. I certainly did.
4 - Holiday
Who wouldn’t like this? Bouncy early 80’s lightweight pop. We all like holidays. We all like Madonna’s track singing about holidays. Reminds me of Rochdale which is not a non sequitur. The discos pounded to this when it came out and I started going out! Peak early Madonna. I think - and I may be wrong - that this is the first Madonna song I heard. Certainly the first one I heard in a club. Thing is, when you listen on earphones or on a phone (or earphones attached to a phone) it can sound a bit tame. But at a club, bass turned up, floors bouncing to the music and the dancing, tracks like ‘Holiday’ rocked. Join in - ‘Holiday!’
3 - Skin
“Do I know you from somewhere?” That line always gets me. It’s like she’s singing to me, remembering our one in-person meeting. Another from the Ray of Light album. Techno treated, producer playing the boards but underneath it, a great - slightly melancholic dance track. As you may have realised, Ray of Light, is the only Madonna album I’ve actually bought. The only album I’ll actually play all the way through whilst cooking. There is no higher honour for an artist. Fuck Grammys. If it passes the Tim in the kitchen test, then you’ve made it. When we met, we didn’t discuss this. I might have said “I’m not like this all the time!”
2 - Like A Virgin
This one came out of the blocks and propelled young Madonna away from getting her kit off for ‘arty’ nude photo shoots and into pop royalty. This was the one. Slightly naughty, an effortless pop classic. Obviously Quentin Tarantino’s deconstruction of the lyrics in Reservoir Dogs has added a slightly more layered interpretation but it was always meant to be provocative. Young - and older Madonna - always wanted to create headlines by controversy. Here she succeeds but in doing so rides a great song. Synth bass and lightweight vocals date this slightly but the verve, the melody and the lyrics keep this a seminal Madonna track.
1 - Into The Groove
My go to Madonna track. You have to know the words to the spoken word intro (You can dance. For inspiration. Come on! I’m waiting.). Peak 80’s synth groove. The best Madonna dance track. She likes to dance. She feels free there. Feels a bit jiggy when she dances. Maybe I should have met her in a club instead of a restaurant? Mmm, you’re overplaying your one connection Tim - you’re not bullshitting on a date now. I know. I know. This track reminds me of flecked suits, yellow shirts, sharp haircuts and hair gel. Girls with big hair, discos that burnt down for the insurance money. And Madonna played loud, bass bouncing off the wooden dance floor, light shows periodically spotlighting your crap dancing as you ‘get into the groove’. Top tune. Top vibe. Number 1. Watch it here.
Bonus Track: Dear Jessie
I debated booting this one off the list and so I did. But. But it’s Beatle-esque production, and my love of it when it came out, demands I keep it at my slightly illegal number 11. Madonna would appreciate my transgression. However, it earned its place with a younger Tim and so - as the solipsism is strong with this one - I kept faith with my younger self. Shout out - love you man. So Dear Jessie is here. Still very Beatles-esque. Its charm wears out quickly though.
Do You Agree?
So that’s my list. I had to whittle it down which wasn’t easy. Borderline. Material Girl. True Blue. Hung Up. They all fell by the wayside as I ruthlessly edited it down to 10 (or 11, yeah, yeah). It was hard. Not as hard as, say, The Beatles, but I’ve spent two years on this blog post so I’ve put the hours in. She’s a major artist and deserved it.
Do you agree? I’m not sure I do myself. Comment below. I usually respond to comments unless they’re weird and have a whiff of your Mum’s basement about them. And so I’ll end by insulting my readers.
Read on
Obviously you HAVE to read my meeting with Madonna. I may have mentioned it a couple of times already in this article.
Maybe my top ten 80’s tracks - one a year I believe.
Or just go to my music section of the features page and select and curate your own reader experience.
Princess Diana, Margaret Thatcher & Madonna: These I have known
Tim Robson pictured round about the time these stories happened.
(In which Tim reveals the very secrets of his conversational success, stories to tell when on a date and adds a personal take on a trio of famous women. Some pretentious crap about tapestries and history)
Stories for Dating Success
Occasionally - carefully and trepidatiously - I may be on a date. If things are going well, yeah, I know, not often, Tim may kick back and pull out those killer stories that push the conversation from “Who’s this shallow buffoon?'‘ to “Get your coat Tim, you’ve pulled.”
Indulge me.
We all have those stories we whip out at the right occasion; those anecdotes that attempt to make you look better by association. I often say, we are the stories we tell. What we choose to share is who we are. Now, you’re probably thinking, that’s deep Tim. You’d be right; that lightweight humour I wear as an armour masks shadowy caverns of intellectuality. How is he still single, I hear you ask?
So, ladies, if you hear me mention the following, you know that it’s decision time. Decision time to leave early often but hey! despite repeated evidence to the contrary, we continually trace familiar arcs.
I’ll say; I’ve met some famous, even iconic women in the past, so take a choice between Princess Di, Margaret Thatcher or Madonna and I’ll tell you the story. It merits interest when the conversation is flagging, when I need an extra boost to up my bone fides with whosoever I’m with. But, like all great things in life, it’s the anticipation, the journey that matters, not the destination.
What I’m admitting is; ultimately they’re all crap anecdotes.
So, you have choice, lady with a white wine in front of her, who would like to hear about: Princess Diana, Madonna or Margaret Thatcher? Obviously the limiting choice is a false one because, like every egomaniac, I will, of course, tell all three stories anyway. As the cascading crapness of each anecdote tumbles forth, it becomes apparent that these shiny celebrity baubles are but flaming torches on a dark pathway to somewhere else.
Usually a solitary walk home in the rain, but, here we go; I’ve preambled and foreshadowed enough. On with the stories Tim!
Princess Diana
The connections between the Robsons and the Spencer family go back generations. No, my ancestors weren’t at high society balls nor swigging flasks whilst grouse shooting on some windy moor: my grandmother (RIP) was a servant at Althorp House when Diana’s father was young. Like many bright working class people of her generation, continued education was not an option and so young Dora Mason left school at 15, probably packed a solitary suitcase and left for domestic work in a grand house. All very Downtown Abbey.
Skip forward 70 or so years and the grandson of the servant and the daughter of the young lord were fated to meet. Not once, but twice. As a Rochdale boy studying at Sussex University, I’d often have to take the Brighton to Manchester train (sadly now axed). A long six-eight hour journey stopping everywhere. One of the stops was Kensington Olympia.
There I was, penning a letter - yes we used to do that, no, not with a quill - and a familiar figure wandered into view walking along the platform. None other than the Princess of Wales (as she then was), Diana Spencer. Now back then, in celeb terms, she was top of the heap. And here we were separated by less than a foot as she walked past gazing into my eyes for less than a second. She then knocked on the window and beckoned me to follow. (1) Before walking on. I’d like to say, into history but this story has a (crap) further episode.
Years later, I was working in a supermarket in Brighton in Kemptown. The staff restuarant was on the first floor and there I was, gazing out on to St James’ Street and noticed crowds gathering on both sides of the street. Who should drive by but my old friend from Kensington Olympia, Diana? Boy, was this girl persistent. No means no, yeah?
This time she drove on and I never saw her again.
Margaret Thatcher
Prime Minister 1979-1990, winner of three elections, first female PM, Falkland War victor and iconic leader of the West against communism. If she were here now, she would undoubtedly mention all these achievements en passant but, if pressed, she would probably mention the handful of times she locked eyes with young Tim Robson.
I briefly working for an MP at the House of Commons many years ago. It was here that I crossed paths with Thatcher, then at the height of her power. Whether from Strangers Gallery, at a House of Commons regetta, or, well, Strangers Gallery again, we shared moments did Margaret and I. How many alive can say they stared into those cold blue eyes, eyes that could sear through to your soul and assess if you were ‘One of Us’, friend or foe? Ultimately, she never said what she thought of me. In retrospect, I think more of her now than I did then and I’m glad I saw her in the flesh.
And onto story three.
Madonna
And so we get to my Madonna story. Probably the best of the three. You know when people say they bumped into someone? Well, in this case, I actually did bump into Madonna. Might have exchanged words.
It was sometime in the mid 00’s and for some reason my boss - a high powered VP - decided I’d been suitably obsequious and so decreed on the spur of the moment to take me to Cipriani’s, then on Park Lane. Paparazzi lined the pavement, flash bulbs were going off left and right and the restaurant was packed. (2) We drank, we ate, we drank and eventually Tim needed the bathroom. The tables were close together so it took some weaving to navigate the journey to the gents.
A narrow corridor formed between tables and I walked quickly noticing, at the other end of this confined space, a short(ish) woman who looked liked Madonna coming in the opposite direction. I looked again; yes, it really was Madonna! There was only really space for one of us between the tables and she didn’t look like she was going to let me through. Too far on to go back, I pressed ahead and we kind of bumped into each other in the middle. And then she said the following words to me which I’ll always remember:
“Asshole.”
Now isn’t that a celeb story to treasure?
Conclusion: What does it all mean?
The stories themselves are lightweight and, in one way, inconsequential. Remember what I said to you about us being the stories we tell? But they serve two purposes. Firstly, they provoke discussion, they advance the conversation from quotidian ‘how are you’, ‘where do you work’, ‘how did you get here’ to a more interesting level. Everyone’s got a celeb story to tell. Usually just as crap as my own. It’s a bonding mechanism.
Secondly, what three remarkable women! All iconic, all remembered today (yeah, yeah, Madonna’s still alive, but you know what I mean). The stories and the women involved are a link to the past, and there’s nothing so obscure as the recent past. To be footsoldier at Austerlitz and see Napoleon riding close by must have been that soldier’s go-to yarn when refilling his cup in some provincial inn back home in France years later. How he looked, the uniform he wore, the weather. These are the touches of history that evade historians but just as each stitch makes a tapestry, so does each anecdote serve a wider purpose of preserving what is often lost.
Really Tim?
Oh all right. I tell them to create curiosity and as vehicle for a few jokes. We are the stories we tell.
Read On
Oh gosh. So many. So many. Taylor Swift Review anyone? The Darkness of Bruges - the underbelly of beer and chocolates? Or maybe, dammit, just read the fucking lot and choose yourself in my heavily curated Features Section.
Notes
1) Possibly that sentence, about knocking on the window, may just be my brain playing tricks on me. Time is a great deceiver.
2) Prince Andrew & Fergie were there with their kids also that night. No, me neither.
TOP 10 80's POP Songs
80’s: I was there, man!
Here it is - you asked for it - a top ten pop hits of the 80’s from one who was there and has the piano tie to prove it. So I stand and deliver. Oh, dear, that’s a bad start. Suffice to say, neither Adam nor his Ants will appear on this list (though I have a soft spot for Prince Charming, to be honest).
The only rule for this list - I had to like it at the time. You know, in the actual 80’s. And still like it now. It’s a high hurdle I set but let’s limber up and hope we don’t crash into the self-imposed bar too much.
Synth generated drum roll from my Casio!
Ashes to Ashes - David Bowie (1980)
Scary, arty, new romantic cool! I remember watching this on Top of the Pops and that weird but compulsive video. That strange dance on the beach, the odd costumes, the backhanded reference to Major Tom. This kicked off the decade and took it in a glamorous direction after the punk and rock of the 70’s. And the sound ain’t bad either! Followed up by Fashion and then Bowie went pop and my interest faded (to Grey?).
Vienna - Ultravox (1981)
Cruelly kept off Number 1 by an annoying one hit wonder, Joe Bloody Dolce - Shutup Ya Face (shit). Vienna is a classy song with a kick-ass video. What’s not to like? Midge Ure wandering around Covent Garden and - yes - Vienna - in a mac with pointy sidies. Peak New Romantic but staying just the right side of pretentious. Epic song, with hypnotic piano, swelling strings and the suggestion of something mysterious, something foreign, something tragic. Still never been to Vienna.
Under Attack - Abba (1982)
Abba’s sad swan song. It did nothing in the charts and the group faded away after this. Very late-era Abba, synths, electric bass, treated vocals, I first heard this at Rochdale roller rink early 1983 as I pirouetted and tried to peacock all the girls. It has stuck with me ever since. Sadly, I didn’t make the Olympics but Under Attack took 1982’s Gold.
The Winner Takes It All should be on the list but, it’s another list - my top ten of all time. I try to avoid repetition for that one guy in his mommy’s basement who reads all my stuff.
To France - Mike Oldfield (1983)
Updated folk music for the 80’s generation. I remember hearing the song - strangely enough - in France, sat in the back of my parents’ car as we drove around Brittany. Probably in the rain. Maggie Reilly’s voice and the folky / medieval feel and subject matter make this an ethereal postcard from a vanished age. That age being my youth. I often return to this song when I want a good song to cook to, when I’m writing, when I want to imagine being young again. Honorable mention to Moonlight Shadow but, yeah, everyone likes that one. Deep cut, man.
Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood (1983)
Frankie Says… Well, if you don’t know what Frankie Says, you weren’t there. Frankie had three massive hits in 1984. They were all over the year like a rash. I got my mum to buy this single on one of her Saturday shopping trips to Rochdale. I remember being in Spain 1984 and all you could hear in the discos (yes, I said discos not clubs) was either Relax or Two Tribes in one of their many, many, 12 inch varieties. Obviously Trevor Horn created the vibe, the driving beat, and there was a shocking amount of Paul Morley ZTT inspired marketing, but, this was an era defining sound.
It’s about sex, isn’t it?
Madonna - Like A Virgin (1984)
Oh yeah! Something about time and place gets this one in the top ten. Her singing has matured and so did her production values, but this is where’s it is at. Joyous and dance-able, even for saddos with that bouncy synth beat, it calls out forty years later. But to really experience it you need to be 16 and walking into a Rochdale disco with this pumping out! The smell of cheap perfume, hair spray, cigarettes and alcohol! Nothing better.
BTW - cross plug for the algorithm - read my Top Ten Madonna Songs.
Pride - U2 (1984)
God! I loved this song. I still love this song. Edge’s eternal guitar playing a special riff, Bono’s vocals, the U2 style drumming. Martin Luther King! The sound of sixth form me heading off to the pub in Rochdale for a cheeky 5 pints on Wednesday night in The Grapes or The Elephant and Castle. “Are you 18, sonny?” This song is the time and place of who I am and where I came from. I bought the 7 and 12 inch.
Walk This Way - Aerosmith feat Run DMC (1986)
Seriously - this record still kicks arse. Rap and rock fusion! An alternative pathway which we kinda lost on the way. But boy did it produce one memorable collaboration. Years later, I tried to form a band as a way of getting some girls I was keen on to join and get first hand my natural charisma with a guitar. We played this song. Or would have if the girls joined or I could play it. Fun times.
Voyage Voyage - Desireless (1987)
Ah, holiday records. That’s what the 80’s were about. Who could hate Ottowan’s ‘Hands Up, Give Me Your Heart’ or FR David’s seminal ‘Words’. Add Desireless to this trio and we have a grande armée one-two-three combination of sublime 80’s French summer Euro pop. Voyage Voyage - I heard this in Benidorm in the summer of 1988 as I perused the city’s art galleries, a fragrant girl in a white dress on my arm as we discussed art and memory. Yeah Tim. Or, truth told, maybe it was the soundtrack to being pissed up in many of the town’s clubs trying to buy girls with tattoos and bikini tops rum and cokes. One or the other. Great Euro pop though.
All Around the World - Lisa Stansfield (1989)
How could I not put Lisa Stansfield on the list? If it wasn’t a great song however, I wouldn’t have added it, but it is here purely through merit. The fact that she went to my school and I knew her slightly are interesting but not relevent. Lisa bookends this decade for me. We were in the school play at the start of the 80’s and she ended the decade at Number One with this song. I remember the feeling of pride when this became a smash. That was before the jealousy kicked in. Why had CBS returned my demo?
(Hint: It was shit)
I will probably change my mind in five minutes about this list, but let’s start this way, shall we? Comment below
Read On
To see all my music articles, ten tops and deep dives, head over to my Music Features and pick your next read.
Hip Tunes for Hep Cats!
This week I’m mostly listening to Stan Getz in his early 1960's bossanova phase. I’m a hip cat, daddy-o. Black polo neck sweater, natty goaty beard, copy of On the Road in my trench coat. Oh yeah, Peter Sellers, Princess Margaret, Profumo, Harold Macmillan. Cool beans, man.
Stan Getz – The Girl From Ipanema
Yeah, okay, so I’ve picked the Beethoven’s Fifth of bossanova. I know other stuff too – and can pick a passable Desafinado on the guitar when the mood takes me – but if I want to get into a beat-poet/ hipster mood, The Girl From Ipanema does it for me. I listen to the long version with both Joao Gilberto and Astrud Gilberto trading verses.
The story of how a gorgeous 19-year-old girl would wander past a coffee shop in Rio de Janeiro and by doing so inspired songwriter Vinicius de Moraes to pen this classic is well known. It’s a touching and lasting tribute to the temporary and fleeting virtues of beauty. A bit lechy too, of course. Add some cool bossanova chords from Antônio Carlos Jobim, some breathy sax from Getz and Gilberto’s restrained vocals and we have a jazz classic.
Madonna – Sorry
Dance floor stomper from Madge (did I mention we’ve met? I should tell you about it sometime). Always partial to a decent dance song with a hummable tune, this hit from 2006 (who knew?) helps pass four minutes whilst doing the washing up.
Shelby Lynne – Leavin’
This moody, confessional, telling it how it is, men are bastards, country tune, starts with our Shelby talking into the mike about some useless tosser of a boyfriend before blossoming out into a fully fledge ‘I Will Survive’ self empowerment affirmation of womanly strength.
Barely there acoustic guitar, hypnotic beat, great harmonies. It’s a late night conversation over the phone with someone who finally has the courage to leave. You go girl!
A mere three this week but a sturdy selection I think you’ll find. Now back to the black coffee and the thinly disguised diary dressed up as fiction I’m writing this week. Ho-hum.
DJ Tim