Brit Awards Review 2018
Brian Ferry or Tim Robson? O2 2018
We remember those classic Brits moments
Ah the Brits. Oasis behaving badly. Blur winning sack-loads. Jarvis Cocker jumping on St Michael of Neverland’s stage. Madonna falling off the stage.
Well, your correspondent was at the O2 on Wednesday night to get down with the kids and see what they're listening to. Or at least hang out with the corporate people in the good seats on a freebie and go "Who? Who?" every five minutes like some latter-day Duke of Wellington.
Free drinks. Free seats. Priceless opinions from yours truly.
So, Tim's review and scores.
Evening, event and company : 10/10
It’s free, right? Drank like it was a free bar. It was. Heads down!
Artists Review
Justin Timberlake - He's got a beard and he's a lumberjack and so, probably, okay. Next.
Rita Ora and that Liam bloke from One Direction - I liked this one as I've downloaded the track from the Fifty Shades of Rip Off movie.
Rag N Bone Man - Okay performance. But he just looks like a walking cliché of everything wrong with contemporary society - big, fat, tatoo'd, and his song 'Human' is just a victim searching for a hood. Still, did use a good West Pier backdrop for us Brighton fans.
Stormzie - A rapper apparently, your honour. Shit. Political. Yawn.
Kendrick - Another rapper, your honour. Smashed up a car? Why? Who knows? The ways of the rapper are mysterious and unfathomable. Crap.
Foo Fighters. Some plugged in rock ‘n’ roll at last! But, as I only know Times Like These, the sense of the B side hung over their performance. Could have been better.
Dua Lipa - A self appointed feminist who wandered around wearing a G string showing her arse. That was the most memorable thing I remember about her. Probably mimed. My kids say New Rules are popular.
When I think Sam Smith was one of the best acts of the night, you know the music ain't to my taste. He held his tune though and - through constant car repetition on my kids’ playlists - I know Too Good at Goodbyes. Goodbye Sam.
Ed Sheeran - As I was in the loo when he started, my memories of the first half of his song are very satisfying. Why didn't he do Shape of You? Apparently 2017's best selling single. No, that would be like, obvious, man. Let’s do a deep cut no-one’s heard of.
And then, we had the God-like genius of Mr Manchester himself, Liam of the Gallagher, Oasis Revisited! Yes, Liam was there to pay tribute to the victims of the Manchester bomber in 2017. Ariana Grande couldn't make it so up stepped Liam, with cello, beard and parka doing Live Forever. At last! A proper rock star singing a good song in a good cause. Sang his song and walked off. No bollocks about Liam tonight.
Yes of course he isn't like he was in 1994 but, there again, who is? See my video below. It’s crap but unique.
Afterparty
And then to the afterparty looking suave in my blue suit, white shirt, pocket hanky, looking every inch the new Justin Timberlake. And yes, I hit the dance floor. I'm already a legend and, like Caesar, I write my own PR. There was a French girl. We swapped numbers.
Notes and Further Reading
1) Never heard from the French girl again. Comme d’habitude, la même chose, la même merd.
2) At a distance of eight years, yes count them, as I re-edit the URL and add some headings and links, this Brit show seems pretty good. Obviously the music wasn’t but it is a time capsule. Of what? Crap pop? Shit rappers? No, me getting jiggy on the dancefloor.
3) Read my Taylor Swift Review at Hyde Park 2015. Now if she’d was on the bill… Better review. Learn from this Brits.
4) For a taste of more normal rock commentary, read some of Mick Taylor of The Rolling Stones articles or my exploration of the worst Beatles tracks. My Madonna’s Top Ten songs shook the internet. Double click!
