Tim Robson - Top Posts 2017

(In which Tim babbles about his year in blogs, talks website statistics and - like some jaded good-time girl - tries to understand your preferences)

- What is it with South East Asia and porn?

- What was my theory about Tom Petty’s culpability in the death of Gene Clark?

- What has Wandsworth Council been doing in 2017 to piss away taxpayers’ money?

- What got Tim so upset with Sky in April that the blog literally fell off the rails under the weight of forced anal rape metaphors?

- Why did I post a video of American Trilogy on 21st January?

- And who the fuck lives in Didcot Oxfordshire whose idea of a guilty pleasure is night in with a whisky, some rabbit fur and a long, luxurious  read of this blog?

And who knows when and how to get out of the ever convenient but ever bereft list format style of writing?

Questions. Questions.

So, 2017, almost over, probably not lamented, certainly not celebrated, a prophet without honour even within its own fading span. Blog-wise, where did we go? Did we progress? Did we solve any conundrums, right any wrongs, add one iota to the sum of human knowledge?

To answer this, let me remind you of an old story. Do you remember the one where – unseen – a mouse is fucking an elephant in the arse when the elephant inadvertently stands on a thorn and lets out a great howl of pain and the mouse – still pumping away - shouts, “Yeah, take it bitch!”

I’m not exactly sure what the point of that story was. Am I the mouse? Are you the elephant? Who knows? Sometimes my ways are unknowable, my motives inscrutable, my metaphors a jammed rifle that backfires like some madcap 1940’s cartoon.

Anyway – let me attempt lucidity… I’ve been analysing the traffic stats of this site, and on every measurable scale, 2017 was the year this blog entered the big time, broke all records and had more readers than ever. Thank you all for coming here, even if you only read one article.

As I’ve grumbled here once or twice, my average demographic is probably some middle-aged guy, in his mum’s basement in Lubbock Texas, turning to fat, drinking some bourbon, listening to golden era Stones and, in between accessing niche interest porn, reading my articles about Mick Taylor.

Mick Taylor. Mick Fucking Taylor. I guess I’m gonna have to continually be ‘The Mick Taylor Guy’. By far most of the traffic that comes to this site is directed at the two Mick Taylor articles I've written. If only I could think of a way to monetarise your interest, I’d be rich. If I charged a mere $1 for a sneak-peak at my Mick Taylor articles, I’d have amassed, I dunno, a few hundred bucks by now.

Anyway, here is my list of my favourite blog posts in 2017. It's a good way to ease yourself into my muse.

Covetousness

Tom Petty and the Death of Gene Clark

Inevitable Unions

Mick Taylor Street Fighting Guitarist

Whispers and Echoes

How to Troll

Things I know longer give a fuck about – dancing

Lavender Hill

A Solipsism Too Far

Battle Hymn of the Republic

Next, I'll go through my favourite moments of 2017 and my favourite songs. But for now, let me leave you with:-

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The One That Got Away

Had a great idea for a blog post last night.

But I've forgotten it.

Can't have been that good.

Somehow, I don't think Balzac had this problem.

Yeah

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The Echo Chamber?

Close readers of this blog will discern some sort of overarching pattern to my views. If you suspect that I'm not a Jeremy Corbyn supporter, you'd probably be right (except perversely to keep Steptoe where he is to mess up Labour good and proper 2020).

Anyway, I digress. Today I want to mention a few blogs that I follow and help me to form, reinforce, challenge my world view. I suppose there's an algorithm out there where you enter the blogs you read and out pops a designation of your character. Well, I'll save some time and skip to the conclusion:-

Broadly of the right / libertarian / low taxes / isolationist / Austrian economics / history / humour 

So who do I read:-

Peter Hitchens, of course.  Erudite, well-read, impeccably sourced, not afraid to point out the emperor's new clothes. Broadly a traditional Conservative - Anglican, sceptical of change and fashions, serious.  Good travel writer. One of the few brave souls in the media. Loved by many on the right as John the Baptist type figure.

Rod Liddle. In The Spectator's Coffee House website. Rod is that rare species, a libertarian leftie. But, his readership is mainly right-wing and we all know, shhhhh, that Rod secretly votes UKIP. What you might call the old working class patriotic left - the antithesis to the metrosexual UK hating wankers that scratch their beards and just love cultural relativism and are apologists for all the world's nasty bastards out there. But two main things about Rod that appeal - firstly he's libertarian - mistrustful of attacks on free speech and secondly, he writes brave - did he really say that? - columns that wind up exactly the right people. But mostly he's fucking funny. 

For a sense of balance I troll The Guardian's Comment is Free (CIF) and The Independent websites. It's like outreach work, missionary activity, preaching the gospel of capitalism and libertarianism to the big state / magic money tree lefties within their natural home. The Guardian is notorious in it's biased moderator policy (Komment Macht Frei) - deleting anything it deems offensive, sexist, Islamophobic, racist (except against Jews, of course) or just against the paper's dreadful editorial policy. The trick is to get your trolling in subtly and wind those beardies up to a state of de haut en bas, foul mouthed hissy fits. In return, I do read some of the articles. 99% bollocks of course but at least I escape my echo chamber. The Independent is the brattish, more left-wing, crazier younger sibling of The Guardian. Better for trolling but with a smaller audience for your bon mots.

Guido Fawkes - Order Order blog, is good for breaking political stories, muck raking on politicians. Of the right but lately his voice is muffled due to the constant fellating of the Conservative Party. 

The Conservative Woman is good website for a traditional Conservative viewpoint on most issues.

Breitbart is a good place to hang out, pick up some of the whackier US and UK stories and indulge in the decent BTL non-policed comments. The occasional sound of tinfoil rustling can be heard. Anti-global warming trollmeister, James Delingpole writes here. Always worth the read.

WIiliam M Briggs - mixes up statistics, probability, science, religion and politics. Also does a good podcast.

Well that will do for now - and should keep you busy for a while.

Laters

Tim

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Augustus Had to Have 31 Days Too

The month of August, Augustus, is upon us. As I mentioned, somewhat vaingloriously below, July was a record month for this blog. Well, let's blast that out of the water.

Let's review...

There are three blogposts I didn't finish, waiting in a crocodile-shaped queue in the 'unpublished' list. They may come out. The Dead Pubs of Clapham oscillates between a blog-post about lost England and a short story about lost Tim. Not sure which yet. There's an Elvis blog with some cracking live footage waiting to be aired. And there's a hat tippin', paying my dues blog about the writers, blogs and websites I read to keep informed.

And yet that is just the tip of the iceberg. In a normal month, that would be a good haul but for Augustus (my dearly beloved and missed cat, and the first citizen of Rome he was named after) that is not enough. Here's what I plan for the next 31 days (if Julius got 31 days, Augustus was gonna bloody well get the same).

- Edward Hopper. An appreciation. Yes, I branch, tentatively into art. Is there no beginning to my talents?

- Led Zeppelin. Often mentioned on this blog. Power and grace, tight jeans and bare chests. Why these guys (the three that are left) aren't Lords of this realm is a fucking disgrace. The Beatles of the 70's with double necked guitars and killer riffs.

- Brighton. If I'm from Rochdale, Brighton - for all it's faults and leftie bullshit - is my spiritual home. And yes, I include Hove into the mix.

- Discussion on some short stories that are coming up for their judgement. Let's hope I have to update the Honours Page many, many times.

- Maybe something about the Romans. Fuck it, why not my take on Augustus?

Let's salute the month of Augustus. 

Tim

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I'm a lovin' July!

July was a record month for this blog. 

The most RSS feeds ever. Yeah, RSS feeds. All that. Internet. Clicks, flicks and chicks. Technology. RSS feeds. No, I haven't got a clue what RSS Feeds are but apparently they're really important and indicative of how many people are book marking my stuff. Or something. Whatever.

The main thing is that the numbers don't lie. There were more RSS Feeds in July than any other month. And no, it wasn't me coming back here many times. That would be just cheating myself and what's the point of that? (I've tried anyway - doesn't work).

To be honest - and when aren't I - I can see why the numbers are high. No, I can. Good writing, jokes, art, culture, bollox.  It's a journey this blog. Yeah, and we're all on it. Well, I'm on it right now. On the lager anyway.

So let's raise a glass to me.

"To Tim"

Tim

BTW - the thing under these words is the RSS feed thingie. Click it. Doing so will change your life. Gives you more Tim than any lady ever wants without cocktails and getting back at a loathsome ex.

Yeah.

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My book comes out on...

The good people at Almond Press tell me that Apocalypse Tales will be out on 31st March in both Kindle and paperback formats. Originally titled 'A Veneer of Civilisation by Tim Robson with some other stories by a bunch of randoms' I persuaded Almond to let the book be a celebration of those other writers too. No point me crowding out all the publicity and hype from the other guys whose stories I'm sure will be popular with my fans too. Hence, Apocalypse Tales.

You can view it on Amazon here... 

As the time comes towards publication, I'll be interviewing myself as I am, it is said, the only person who is my own equal.

Yeah.

Blogposts to come in March:

1) Interview with myself about the publication of A Veneer of Conversation.

2) An article exploring the pop goddesses that come out of Canada.

3) Why Brexit is the only solution for June 23rd.

4) When Nelson met Wellington. Sept 12th 1805.

5) A new series on living architecture. How we live amongst the past and yet ignore it or, worst, just don't see it.

A fun-packed month of literary highs, then. But when I'll get to write these, I don't know. My New Year's motto of never saying no to a social engagement is really kicking in now. I have four events to attend this week. That's about double the entire back half of 2015!

And the book comes out too.

Cheers

Tim

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Thank You

So the stats are in...

For the eighth straight month, this website and this blog, had a record breaking month in February.

More of you are reading my musings, more and more and increasing in numbers! The few is being added to.

Okay, so I get why. Where else would you get such an admixture of high and low art and culture, lessons in history and philosophy, commentary on the state of life today?

Answer, nowhere.

But, despite my god-like genius, I can still say 'thank you' to you, my loyal - and expanding - throng of readers...

Thank you!

Tim

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